Reggie's World

I wrote an email I really want to send to my ex. It asks to try one more time. But I don’t want to send it because I really don’t want to hear a rejection and make things between us more awkward. Also, he has so many other friends, and his life is so different from mine at this point, I don’t see how we can realistically come together again.

But I want one more chance… ugh. It’s not going to be sent. In a perfect world, he would come back to me. But there is absolutely no signs of him wanting to get back together, at all. 

We all have that ‘one that got away’, right?

I think when I don’t see him every other day, I’ll feel better about it all. Ugh… one more year.

In other NEWS: Today was the best fun, ever!!!! Had coffee and conversations in the morning. Played tag on a mini lake island. Hiked a local preserve. Rode a horse for the first time, ever! Ate some awesome quesadillas. All with fun people.

It’s been going great with the guy I’m dating. I have fun with him, and we’re physically attracted to each other, but I don’t feel compelled to be with him when I’m away.

There’s something fundamental I’m missing here. Maybe I’m not over my ex, maybe we’re just different people and are simply amicable. Maybe I don’t love myself enough to comfortably be vulnerable around him. Or maybe I’m analyzing too much and it’s just dating. Still new to all of this.

Do I end it because of this? Or should I just enjoy it for what it is, and let it run its course? Nothing is wrong or annoying. It’s very fun and convenient, but my heart isn’t in it.

I don’t think he sees any long-term potential either. So maybe the feeling is mutual. Can’t say for sure though.

I am not eating well at all.

Tuesday - Potluck at work, everyone brought amazing foods and I had 3bowls of all of it

Wednesday - BBQ dinner at a fast-casual restaurant. Oily! Not delicious, but I ate a good amt. Bleh

Thursday - lunch BBQ at work, had 1veggie dog alone, 1chicken dog with a slice of cheese on a bun, and 1veggie chicken patty alone. Also, some strawberry shortcake and chips.
After work, I had an imperial pint of beer, and large serving of curry steak fries (to myself!)

Definitely feeling the grease oozing out of my pores and coating my innards.

Sooo… I think it’s fruits and veggies until this memorial day weekend. People are thinking of going to the beach. Crap

Even after eating some fatty BBQ for dinner. I was a bit worried about feeling sexy afterward; it’s so sloppy and heavy! I managed to stop eating when I got full. Also, it wasn’t very good food. Definitely didn’t get my soul food/BBQ fix tonight.

Ya know what peeved me a bit, he fits my pants. He’s 10inches taller, and apparently his waist isn’t more than 2inches bigger… ugh, whatever, I can’t really complain about tonight. =)